Facts About Captain Chris Pike

Okay as much as I think Robau is the baddest badass in the galaxy, I think Chris Pike was pretty damn badas too. So... let's celebrate with a NEW THREAD OF AWESOME.

Now to start it off...

Captain Pike doesn't need shields, his sheer magnetism repels phaser and torpedo fire.

Shields aren't there to keep enemies out, its to keep them safe from Captain Pike

 

The hull doesn't keep space out it prevents Pike from escaping.


...Pike demands 3,000 posts by June 1st. Or else.

 

Pike's word is so powerful, him saying "Engage" got him 150 ex-wives. That's why he says PUNCH IT! At his simple PUNCH IT, engines engage by themselves. Powered by his own awesomeness


"You've got two choices... stay here or come with me and bask in my awesomeness."

 

None shall comment on any character's potential hotness as such- we shall only say "that bloke is really Captain Pike...any more Captain Pike and he'd be the real thing".

Which, of course, is impossible.

 

Captain Pike whistled and brought back Admiral Archer's beagle.

 

Holy crip he's a crapple!

 

He makes that Admiral's uniform look good.

 

Captain Pike makes any uniform look good.

 

He once taught a German Shepherd to bark in Spanish.

 

Well, the fact that Pike got to write an essay about Robau's demise says it all, doesn't it?

 

"Captain Richard Robau and Badassery: A Critical and Thematic Analysis of the Late Captain and His Awesome Badass Badassery by Christopher Pike"

 

Who knows what he's talking about, baby.

 

That was "The Most Interesting Man Alive" (until Pike was born of course). Pike then assumed that mantle and not to be outdone, taught a German Shepherd to bark in Vulcan.

 

Was it just me, or did Pike's Admiral's uniform look like the Admiral's uniform from TMP?

 

The reason we didn't see Nero remove the Ceti Eel from Pike's brain is because Pike killed it using only his mind.

Nero killed Captian Robau. Pike recruited the man who killed Nero.

Captain Pike sits in a wheelchair with radiation burns on the weekends. For fun.

 

He'd teach Nero to bark in Vulcan.

 

Pike then taught a Chihuahua to bark in Klingon.

The Klingons were not amused. So he blew up Praxis.

 

By hitting it with his fist.

 

...and Romulus for good measure, after all, who can tell them apart, really?

 

Tribbles are Captain Pike's hair clippings.