Yo mamma insults between Starfleet offices

[WraithDukat]

If Starfleet offices wanted to exchange Yo mamma insults what could they use? I have thought of a few, feel free to add:

Yo Mamma so dumb she thinks the Saucer separation procedure is something to do with afternoon tea.

Yo Mamma so ugly she can cure Pon Far.

Yo Mamma so fat when she used the transporter it overloaded the computer core.

Yo Mamma such a freak IDIC has no place for her.

 

[Shaka Zulu]

^Yo mamma's so dumb that she thinks Klingon Tea's an aphrodisiac.

 

[Random_Spock]

Yo mamma's so large that she thinks a Starship is a limo.

 

[Alrik]

Yo mamma so ugly she make Borg run the other way.

Yo mamma so fat it takes two tractor beams to pull her ass through the front door.

Yo mamma so dumb that when Captain said "Make it so.", she pulled out a needle and thread.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Borg version:

YOUR MATERNAL PRIMARY ADJUNCT IS SUFFICIENTLY UNCOLLECTIVIZED AS TO BELIEVE THAT THE BORG COLLECTIVE IS RELATED TO TENNIS.

 

[Random_Spock]

Yo mamma so ugly she make Borg run the other way.

Yo mamma so fat it takes two tractor beams to pull her ass through the front door.

Yo mamma so dumb that when Captain said "Make it so.", she pulled out a needle and thread.

Win.

Nice ones you guys!

 

[T'Girl]

Yo mama so stupid that when Picard says "fire at will" she shoots Riker.

 

[Alrik]

EDIT: T'Girl beat me to one. Great minds I guess.


Yo mamma so fat they had to add a 3rd nacelle to maintain speed.

Yo mamma so dumb that when Captain said, "Fire at will." She did. Pour guy still has phaser burns.

Yo mamma so dumb that when Captain said, "Engage tractor beam.", she got down on one knee.

Yo mamma so old she was Zephram Cochran's prom date.

Yo mamma so dumb that when Captain said, "Raise sheilds.", she hiked up her Depends.

Yo mamma so fat it take a warp field to be able to push her across the living room.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Yo mamma so old she invented yo mamma jokes

Yo mamma so fat she reads as two life signs

Yo mamma so stank when she get on the Enterprise Kirk has Farragut flashbacks

Yo mamma so ugly, Ferengi demand she put more clothes on

 

[Cyke101]

Yo momma so fat, Q needs to snap his fingers twice to move her

Yo momma so old she waved at Voyager during the Big Bang

Yo momma so dumb she thought the Khitomer Accords was a car

Yo momma so fat that Vulcans gain ten pounds from the mind-meld

Yo momma so big that it takes 75 years at maximum warp to get around her

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Yo mamma so old, she still carries Earth money.

 

[The Wormhole]

Yo momma so ugly she did the truly impossible. She gave Captain Kirk a limp dick.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Yo mamma so dumb, she couldn't do calculus until she was 12.

 

[Armored Saint]

Yo Mamma so dumb she wonders what does a Klingon Bird-of-Prey eat.

Yo Mamma so ulgy she works as double for the Grand Nagus.

Yo Mamma so fat that she's a neutral planet according to the Khitomer Accords.

Yo Mamma so hairy that Klingon songs call her the Queen of all the Tribbles.

 

[AgentCoop]

Yo Mamma so illogical, she thought giving birth to you was a good idea.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Yo mamma so dumb, she joined Starfleet and they immediately made her Admiral.

Yo mamma so fat, they use her gravity to stop asteroids from hitting planets.

 

[Alrik]

Yo mamma so dumb when Captain said, "Tea, Earl Grey, hot.", she thought he talkin' bout T. Earl Grey, some cute guy workin down in Ten Forward.

Yo mamma so old she thought when they talkin bout the loss of Reliant, that someone stole her K-Car. (bonus points to those who get it.)

 

[Captain Rob]

Yo mamma so fat that Starfleet had to put out space bouys to warn spacecraft of gravimetric distortions.

Yo mamma so old she knew Flint when he was in grade school.

Yo mamma so dumb she thought Khan was the dude that owned the Jiffymart from the Simpsons.

 

[Tiberius]

Yo mamma so fat that when she landed on Earth she killed the dinosaurs.

Yo mamma so fat starships use her ass as a drydock.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Why Vulcans don't do "Yo mama"

Your mother is so obese, that it may lead to life threatening complications. A change in life style is recommended.