While I see some of stereotypes still alive in modern Cardassian society, men and women roles aren't strictly cultural. It was established in the show that women have good "engineering" minds and would make better scientists. So I think Cardassian society's role division is based on that, although it's nowhere near strict. We did see a female gul, Gul Ocett, and a female member of Gul Evek's crew in TNG, so clearly women are not forbidden from following military careers.
I sort of interpret the cultural ideology that women are naturally better scientists and engineers as a way for the Cardassian powers-that-be to put women's minds to use without putting them in danger, which some of the novels support. Maybe the sexual distinction has basis in truth, but either way I'm guessing they exaggerate it to more strongly define that niche as a feminine space. Even if women's roles aren't
strictly maternal, there's still, so the books suggest, a "shield the womb-bearer from potential harm" vibe going on. I tend to accept the novels' idea that this is why those females who do manage to push through to Gul rank or above end up commanding scientific or exploratory craft rather than warships - it's a knee-jerk "keep them out of the line of fire" response from the traditionalists entrenched in Central Command. I like the suggestion that Gul Ocett, for instance, was given the "go track down this genetic message and find us a new energy source" mission precisely because she was a rare female officer; they were sidelining her to the non-dangerous tasks. To a military culture where sacrifice and duty are celebrated, that must be frustating, so I imagine woman officers are often very displeased to get the "kiddy glove" treatment.
Of course, Cardassia is a harsh, unforgiving environment, so I wouldn't suspect their idea of femininity to be fragile. The "ideal woman", if they had such a concept, would, I imagine, be tough and unyielding, a foundation for the family and entirely willing (and permitted) to get her hands dirty alongside the men. But clearly roles like the military and government (on modern Cardassia basically the same thing of course) seem designated masculine, with the sciences feminine and other areas, like law and the OO, showing no real bias.
It makes sense to me that women would be more than just home-makers and mothers, because the harsh environment would encourage making full use of all resources, and given the unusually disciplined and intelligent Cardassian mind, mental strength is one resource they exploit easily. Women would not only be bored to death if their role were simply defined as domestic or maternal, it would also be a waste of potential talent, and I think Cardassians are smart enough
not to waste it. So I assume that the "men aren't as good at science/engineering" idea is in part encouraged to "free up" the non-dangerous roles for women. Sort of as part of a "balancing" between the understanding that women are needed and useful in more than domestic roles, and the conservative sense that the womb should be shielded from harm. I like the idea that the Cardassians have carved out a cultural niche in the sciences for women as a compromise between these two drives of practicality and what I guess we'd call chivalry.
In fact, I think women's role in Cardassian society is always about a conflict between these ideals. Cardassia seems a male-oriented society, but women at times come across as "one of the guys" and at other times as something held apart. There's sometimes a vibe of "the good wife", waiting patiently at home for her husband with the children, yet at the same time no-one blinks at seeing women as judges, OO agents or, of course, engineers, and as discussed the latter is actually considered explicitly feminine.
So I'd say Cardassia's female population isn't easily defined, because they seem balanced between two very strong perspectives on the part of society - that women are, intellectually, etc, just like men, but that the precious, child-giving womb means they should be held back from danger while the males handle that sort of duty.
As for marriage, there seems to be a policy (at least a policy for men) that goes something like "be loyal to your wife at home, but if you're on shore leave at a colony go ahead and flirt or copulate with the local women; everyone'll turn a blind eye". Maybe that's only the officer class, or maybe it's because Bajoran women, etc, "don't count". Still, the show made it quite clear that the official and unofficial stories don't add up. Garak scolds Dukat for pursuing Kira with "you, a married man!" and characters like Damar seem to promote their marriages as meaningful...yet simultaneously Damar and others have sexual relationships all over the place and no one calls them out on it. Given that Cardassians are very political and clearly have a sort of class system, or at least powerful, established familial blocs, I agree with
Gul Re'jal that arranged marriages, or at least semi-arranged unions, are probably common. Naming conventions appear patrilineal, so maybe marriage originated as a "provide a home/income for my daughter and she'll provide an heir for your house - and this will stabilize relations between our families" type thing, as in many real cultures. Maybe a wife's loyalty is important in that it reflects on her father, too, and could disrupt politics if she sleeps outside the marriage (husband has to know it's his, or contract is broken...), whereas the husband's role doesn't (unofficially) "require" so much sexual loyalty because he's "selling" his labour not his body. So while officially he's supposed to be loyal too, unofficially it's not seen as quite as damaging if he sleeps around. So it's more likely that society will turn a blind eye if a man is unfaithful than a woman. What happens on Bajor, stays on Bajor, particularly if you're a powerful man of good family and distinguished rank.
