Foreword
This fanfiction originally was a prompt. Back in 2008 or so there was a youtube-creator, who reviewed the then recent Sailor-Moon real-life-tv-show and said "hey, what about some fanfictions?" - and originally, I was like "Naah, would have no idea, what to write about it", however if I can lead Cal in a situation, where he can make a complete buffoon out of himself, I never said "no". So - this little fanfic happened.
It's taking place after "Schweinehunde unter sich", but belongs to the same continuity. Have fun.
Japanese Wonder Women
The Starfleetcaptain remembered the quintessence of that first line that Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV ever said: “People do strange things for a living.” That was his opening line in the Pilot “Don’t eat the snow on Hawaii”, an episode, Cal had watched five years ago, sitting on Daniel Jacksons couch.
And the officer from the future could not agree more. Right now, the captain was hunting – trying to catch the master-thief, who annoyed him since the moment they met. Captain Calvin Nathan Cat looked around in Tokyo and hoped, that he would find a clue. With a space ship in orbit, friends on the ground, it should not be that difficult.
And yet, he and his girlfriend and first officer (XO Commander Agatha Silverbird) needed to stay at least one night in the Japanese metropolis.
Want to know what the fun thing is, being an officer from the future? When you are investigating in your past – our present, perhaps - Starfleet is giving you money, so that you may not become conspicuous. So – you can reside in a nice, very posh hotel.
So did Agatha Silverbird and Cal.
Both were in various states of being (un-)dressed, when suddenly they heard a strange sound from above.
Agatha closed the clasp of her bra, before putting on a cute, not very noticeable tank-top and looked at Cal, whose reaction to the strange sound was simple: Grabbing the Phaser and setting it on stun.
“What do you have in mind?”, the beautiful redheaded XO asked and Cal shrugged: “Stun, whoever comes in?”
“And if it is just the caretaker?” Agatha’s green eyes were showing signs of the same intellectual movement behind her forehead, his own brown eyes were a clear indicator the lacking, “Or John McLane, running away from Hans Gruber, again?”
The starfleet-officer in charge checked his handgun, shrugged and winked at Agatha: “Then I’ll say ‘Ho Ho Ho’ and ‘Yippikayeah, Motherfrakker’, before I’ll show him the way out.”
The eyebrow of his first officer went upwards: “You? You want to help John McLane? Sure.”
Cal sighed: “We have some situation on the roof and I’ll be damned, if I’ll let it play out.”
And with that, he was on his way.
When he opened the door to the roof, his first reaction was a chiding sound. Anyone could open the door to said roof and go up here. Not very safe.
This thought got reinforced, when he saw a cute blonde, wearing a school-girls outfit, fighting a giant monster.
Couple of years ago, he met - and saw - very strange things, he had even fought a couple of Borg (unless he was assimilated himself) and yet: A cute blonde, wearing a school-girls outfit fighting a giant monster? That was a new one.
And he thought, that nothing could shock him, since he had met princess Jasmine from Agrabah, Aladdin, Papyrus and Theti and had fought the system lord Ra together with those royalties.
But - again, just to hammer that point into your brain: a cute blonde, wearing a school-girls outfit fighting a giant monster!
And the captain did not know, if the girl might be the villain. After all, he had seen it all - from doubles of himself, trying to take over nothing more and nothing less than the world, from Cylons, that stepped out of a bathtub filled with white slime, while being naked, from - again: from Systemlords, who wanted to take over earth… suffice to say: He saw some beauties, that could change into real beasties in zero-time.
So, why not thinking that the blonde would be the villain?
Well - when he took into consideration, that the blonde was just whirling around, trying to evade the attacks of the monster, that was attacking her, it was a safe assumption, that she was not the real villain here.
So - the Captains reaction was simple. He took out his gun, set it on stun and - stormed forward, attacked.
The yellow beam hit the entity point blank, made it stumble, and yet - it roared.
Now, the starfleet captain had the opportunity of looking at the beastie in front of him and to acknowledge the same thing, he said to it: "Boy, you look gross."
The entity, the beastie, shook its head, recovered itself and struck a defensive posture.
"Well", Cal grinned, "The game is afoot, I guess."
And at that moment, he wanted to lurch forward - the blonde put a hand on his shoulder and shook her head.
"Let me handle this.", she said - of course in Japanese, and the captain thanked for the universal-translator in his head.
Then she lurched an attack, whirled, kicked, screamed, moaned, sighed, ducked, boxed, jumped into security, before turning around and attacking again.
"What do you make out of that?", the voice of his sexy XO brought him to senses. Cal shrugged: "Cute blonde vs. monster - normally my money would be on that monstrosity but - see how she is fighting."
"Mhm - safe assumption, that she'd be the winner."
The captain nodded: "Yeah - I mean - look at this. We were never trained like this, eh, Gathy-chan?"
"Well - maybe not you", Agatha grinned, winking at him, "maybe I was? That could be something for you to find out later."
And in that moment, where the Captain wanted to wink at her, he felt, that something hit him and smashed him from the roof.
"Oh shit", was all, Cal could say, then he hit the Terrace beneath him.
Darkness encompassed him.
When he came to, he saw the cute blonde looking at him: "Are you okay, westerner?"
"Yeah - I", he blinked, tried to focus on the blondes face, then on Agatha, who ran towards him, "where… where am I? What exactly happened?"
"You disturbed a fight with a demon.", the cute blonde said, and helped the starfleet-officer to get up. Shaking his head, he tried to jog his memory, then he looked at her: "Demon?"
And he was sure, that she could tell his scepticism.
"Hai", she said and started to explain, before she pointed at herself: "By the way - I'm Sailor Moon."
Cal tilted his head.
Sailor Moon? Strange name. But then - what was not, these days? When Mister and Misses Moon wanted to call their child "Sailor" - why not? Kids have names like "Jesse Blue" today - or was this "Jimmy Blue?" Cal didn't know, and when he was perfectly honest: He didn't care.
If misses Moon wanted her daughter to be named "Sailor" - then this was okay. And maybe that was just a vocal and acoustical misunderstanding, maybe she was named Sehlah Moon or so - and maybe Sehlah meant something in Japanese, something like "Pretty" or "Toilet Paper" or so.
"And who are you?", she asked and Cal gulped.
How would he like to be addressed here? In this situation? After all - she had just fought a giant thingie, which she called a "demon". Could he dare to reveal himself, that he was a Starfleet-officer? Or should he stick to his persona, he assumed here, the one of the Journalist at DEJ-Press (the Deutsch-Englisch Japanische Presseagentur - which would be the German-Englisch-Japanese Press-Agency and the GEJ-Press in abbreviation)?
Or should he do the same thing, he did in Agrabah, call himself "The Doctor" and introduce his girlfriend as "River Song"?
he shook his head and decided, that if she said, that she had fought a demon, that she was a nutjob. So he had nothing to loose, cleared his throat, grabbed her hand, shook it and said: "Hello Sehlah Moon - I'm Captain Calvin Nathan Cat, commanding federation starship U.S.S: Dragonfly."
And he could hear Agathas hand hitting her face. Facepalming - the Starfleet-way.
Then the captain looked at Sehlah Moon, tilted his head and tilted it again, this time in a different direction: "Soooooooo - you were fighting a demon?"
"We call them youma."
"Don't they have a convention, every October in the nice little city of Detroit?"
Sehlah Moon was confused: "EH?"
"Never mind - erm… what is a youma?"
"Basically your typical demon. They are out to poison your soul and stuff like that.", the blonde explained, "And I and my friends - we try to stop them."
Cal tilted his head again: "You … and your friends. Who are you? Japanese Wonder Woman?"
"Eh?"
"Never mind", Cal sighed, " but - you are some cosplayers, right? I mean - this was just a rehearsal for the next Anime-Convention, that went downhill when your friend showed me over the edge of that building, yes?"
Sehlah Moon shook her head: "No, those are real demons. They are out to…"
Cal interjected: "Miss Moon - there are no such things as demons. If you had said 'Aliens' I might have believed that, although I'd ask myself, what kind of aliens those would be. Borg, Cardassians, Klingons? But - demons? Naaah - demons don't exist."
That said, he felt a touch on his right shoulder.
"Agatha", he said, "stop it. I'm trying to bring some sense into this young girls mind."
Again - a touch on his right shoulder.
"Agatha - stop it!"
His XO's voice originated left of his position: "Cal? I'm not doing anything. Probably you should take a look."
Cal could not help, but gulp.
He turned around, followed the tentacle, that was on his shoulder with his eyes and saw that giant thing hovering next to him.
Oh crap - that was no cosplayer.
the captains hand found his phaser, he pointed it at the youma, fired and - nothing happened.
Japanese Wonder Woman intervened, attacked again.
Cal looked at her: "SEHLAH MOON! TAKE COVER!"
And with that, he opened his own can of whoop-ass in form of his Phaser, at first barraging, then he set the Phaser on overload and threw it at the youma. The entity grabbed the weapon - and vanished in an explosion.
Cal took a deep breath, when he turned around - just to feel something hit him. He stumbled forward, Agatha grabbed him and they both fell to the ground. When Cal came to, he felt the hand of his XO on his head - in a protective way.
And then he heard the fighting-noises of Sehlah Moon and other girls.
"What…", the Starfleetcaptain said and Agatha pressed him on the ground: "You stay put. Let the sailor scouts handle this."
Cal could not help, but nod. Yeah - let the professionals handle things.
After all - how did the lyrics go? There's something strange in your neighbourhood - who you gonna call? Ghosbusters.
And how could one continue that lyric?
There's aliens invading, using human for food? Who you gonna call? Starfleet - or the MiB.
There's youmas on your roof, up to no good? Who you gonna call? The sailor scouts.
This fanfiction originally was a prompt. Back in 2008 or so there was a youtube-creator, who reviewed the then recent Sailor-Moon real-life-tv-show and said "hey, what about some fanfictions?" - and originally, I was like "Naah, would have no idea, what to write about it", however if I can lead Cal in a situation, where he can make a complete buffoon out of himself, I never said "no". So - this little fanfic happened.
It's taking place after "Schweinehunde unter sich", but belongs to the same continuity. Have fun.
Japanese Wonder Women
The Starfleetcaptain remembered the quintessence of that first line that Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV ever said: “People do strange things for a living.” That was his opening line in the Pilot “Don’t eat the snow on Hawaii”, an episode, Cal had watched five years ago, sitting on Daniel Jacksons couch.
And the officer from the future could not agree more. Right now, the captain was hunting – trying to catch the master-thief, who annoyed him since the moment they met. Captain Calvin Nathan Cat looked around in Tokyo and hoped, that he would find a clue. With a space ship in orbit, friends on the ground, it should not be that difficult.
And yet, he and his girlfriend and first officer (XO Commander Agatha Silverbird) needed to stay at least one night in the Japanese metropolis.
Want to know what the fun thing is, being an officer from the future? When you are investigating in your past – our present, perhaps - Starfleet is giving you money, so that you may not become conspicuous. So – you can reside in a nice, very posh hotel.
So did Agatha Silverbird and Cal.
Both were in various states of being (un-)dressed, when suddenly they heard a strange sound from above.
Agatha closed the clasp of her bra, before putting on a cute, not very noticeable tank-top and looked at Cal, whose reaction to the strange sound was simple: Grabbing the Phaser and setting it on stun.
“What do you have in mind?”, the beautiful redheaded XO asked and Cal shrugged: “Stun, whoever comes in?”
“And if it is just the caretaker?” Agatha’s green eyes were showing signs of the same intellectual movement behind her forehead, his own brown eyes were a clear indicator the lacking, “Or John McLane, running away from Hans Gruber, again?”
The starfleet-officer in charge checked his handgun, shrugged and winked at Agatha: “Then I’ll say ‘Ho Ho Ho’ and ‘Yippikayeah, Motherfrakker’, before I’ll show him the way out.”
The eyebrow of his first officer went upwards: “You? You want to help John McLane? Sure.”
Cal sighed: “We have some situation on the roof and I’ll be damned, if I’ll let it play out.”
And with that, he was on his way.
When he opened the door to the roof, his first reaction was a chiding sound. Anyone could open the door to said roof and go up here. Not very safe.
This thought got reinforced, when he saw a cute blonde, wearing a school-girls outfit, fighting a giant monster.
Couple of years ago, he met - and saw - very strange things, he had even fought a couple of Borg (unless he was assimilated himself) and yet: A cute blonde, wearing a school-girls outfit fighting a giant monster? That was a new one.
And he thought, that nothing could shock him, since he had met princess Jasmine from Agrabah, Aladdin, Papyrus and Theti and had fought the system lord Ra together with those royalties.
But - again, just to hammer that point into your brain: a cute blonde, wearing a school-girls outfit fighting a giant monster!
And the captain did not know, if the girl might be the villain. After all, he had seen it all - from doubles of himself, trying to take over nothing more and nothing less than the world, from Cylons, that stepped out of a bathtub filled with white slime, while being naked, from - again: from Systemlords, who wanted to take over earth… suffice to say: He saw some beauties, that could change into real beasties in zero-time.
So, why not thinking that the blonde would be the villain?
Well - when he took into consideration, that the blonde was just whirling around, trying to evade the attacks of the monster, that was attacking her, it was a safe assumption, that she was not the real villain here.
So - the Captains reaction was simple. He took out his gun, set it on stun and - stormed forward, attacked.
The yellow beam hit the entity point blank, made it stumble, and yet - it roared.
Now, the starfleet captain had the opportunity of looking at the beastie in front of him and to acknowledge the same thing, he said to it: "Boy, you look gross."
The entity, the beastie, shook its head, recovered itself and struck a defensive posture.
"Well", Cal grinned, "The game is afoot, I guess."
And at that moment, he wanted to lurch forward - the blonde put a hand on his shoulder and shook her head.
"Let me handle this.", she said - of course in Japanese, and the captain thanked for the universal-translator in his head.
Then she lurched an attack, whirled, kicked, screamed, moaned, sighed, ducked, boxed, jumped into security, before turning around and attacking again.
"What do you make out of that?", the voice of his sexy XO brought him to senses. Cal shrugged: "Cute blonde vs. monster - normally my money would be on that monstrosity but - see how she is fighting."
"Mhm - safe assumption, that she'd be the winner."
The captain nodded: "Yeah - I mean - look at this. We were never trained like this, eh, Gathy-chan?"
"Well - maybe not you", Agatha grinned, winking at him, "maybe I was? That could be something for you to find out later."
And in that moment, where the Captain wanted to wink at her, he felt, that something hit him and smashed him from the roof.
"Oh shit", was all, Cal could say, then he hit the Terrace beneath him.
Darkness encompassed him.
When he came to, he saw the cute blonde looking at him: "Are you okay, westerner?"
"Yeah - I", he blinked, tried to focus on the blondes face, then on Agatha, who ran towards him, "where… where am I? What exactly happened?"
"You disturbed a fight with a demon.", the cute blonde said, and helped the starfleet-officer to get up. Shaking his head, he tried to jog his memory, then he looked at her: "Demon?"
And he was sure, that she could tell his scepticism.
"Hai", she said and started to explain, before she pointed at herself: "By the way - I'm Sailor Moon."
Cal tilted his head.
Sailor Moon? Strange name. But then - what was not, these days? When Mister and Misses Moon wanted to call their child "Sailor" - why not? Kids have names like "Jesse Blue" today - or was this "Jimmy Blue?" Cal didn't know, and when he was perfectly honest: He didn't care.
If misses Moon wanted her daughter to be named "Sailor" - then this was okay. And maybe that was just a vocal and acoustical misunderstanding, maybe she was named Sehlah Moon or so - and maybe Sehlah meant something in Japanese, something like "Pretty" or "Toilet Paper" or so.
"And who are you?", she asked and Cal gulped.
How would he like to be addressed here? In this situation? After all - she had just fought a giant thingie, which she called a "demon". Could he dare to reveal himself, that he was a Starfleet-officer? Or should he stick to his persona, he assumed here, the one of the Journalist at DEJ-Press (the Deutsch-Englisch Japanische Presseagentur - which would be the German-Englisch-Japanese Press-Agency and the GEJ-Press in abbreviation)?
Or should he do the same thing, he did in Agrabah, call himself "The Doctor" and introduce his girlfriend as "River Song"?
he shook his head and decided, that if she said, that she had fought a demon, that she was a nutjob. So he had nothing to loose, cleared his throat, grabbed her hand, shook it and said: "Hello Sehlah Moon - I'm Captain Calvin Nathan Cat, commanding federation starship U.S.S: Dragonfly."
And he could hear Agathas hand hitting her face. Facepalming - the Starfleet-way.
Then the captain looked at Sehlah Moon, tilted his head and tilted it again, this time in a different direction: "Soooooooo - you were fighting a demon?"
"We call them youma."
"Don't they have a convention, every October in the nice little city of Detroit?"
Sehlah Moon was confused: "EH?"
"Never mind - erm… what is a youma?"
"Basically your typical demon. They are out to poison your soul and stuff like that.", the blonde explained, "And I and my friends - we try to stop them."
Cal tilted his head again: "You … and your friends. Who are you? Japanese Wonder Woman?"
"Eh?"
"Never mind", Cal sighed, " but - you are some cosplayers, right? I mean - this was just a rehearsal for the next Anime-Convention, that went downhill when your friend showed me over the edge of that building, yes?"
Sehlah Moon shook her head: "No, those are real demons. They are out to…"
Cal interjected: "Miss Moon - there are no such things as demons. If you had said 'Aliens' I might have believed that, although I'd ask myself, what kind of aliens those would be. Borg, Cardassians, Klingons? But - demons? Naaah - demons don't exist."
That said, he felt a touch on his right shoulder.
"Agatha", he said, "stop it. I'm trying to bring some sense into this young girls mind."
Again - a touch on his right shoulder.
"Agatha - stop it!"
His XO's voice originated left of his position: "Cal? I'm not doing anything. Probably you should take a look."
Cal could not help, but gulp.
He turned around, followed the tentacle, that was on his shoulder with his eyes and saw that giant thing hovering next to him.
Oh crap - that was no cosplayer.
the captains hand found his phaser, he pointed it at the youma, fired and - nothing happened.
Japanese Wonder Woman intervened, attacked again.
Cal looked at her: "SEHLAH MOON! TAKE COVER!"
And with that, he opened his own can of whoop-ass in form of his Phaser, at first barraging, then he set the Phaser on overload and threw it at the youma. The entity grabbed the weapon - and vanished in an explosion.
Cal took a deep breath, when he turned around - just to feel something hit him. He stumbled forward, Agatha grabbed him and they both fell to the ground. When Cal came to, he felt the hand of his XO on his head - in a protective way.
And then he heard the fighting-noises of Sehlah Moon and other girls.
"What…", the Starfleetcaptain said and Agatha pressed him on the ground: "You stay put. Let the sailor scouts handle this."
Cal could not help, but nod. Yeah - let the professionals handle things.
After all - how did the lyrics go? There's something strange in your neighbourhood - who you gonna call? Ghosbusters.
And how could one continue that lyric?
There's aliens invading, using human for food? Who you gonna call? Starfleet - or the MiB.
There's youmas on your roof, up to no good? Who you gonna call? The sailor scouts.
