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Caption Contest 11: Bound and Gagged

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Triskelion

Triskelion

Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
Hi Crimestoppers! It's time to put the lid on the containment breach that is the Enterprise caption contest. This contest was downright impossible to judge, so I'm declaring a winners across the board! Come on, do you really think I could choose just one this week? Every one of them was gold. If you haven't seen the thread, here's the link and you can see for yourself the kind of talent the Trekbbs brings to the table:
http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=70724

So congratulations to:

Herkimer Jitty :borg:
Turd Ferguson :vulcan:
Nearly Dead :cardie:
Goul-eddie74 :rommie:
Nebusj :bolian:
Bat Boy :klingon:
Starpaul 20 :alienblush:
Skyhaunter :techman:
CaptainJon :devil:
Jinxed13 (and why not) :evil:
Alyssa (and why not) :scream:
Atavachron :drool:
Middyseafort :wtf:
SFRabid :eek:
DismemberedPicard (and why not) :p
Captain Leslie ;)
jongredic :rolleyes:
Mistral :confused:
ex-Pensive :cool:
bintak :guffaw:
Tryskullon :lol:

(Hope i didn't forget anyone!)

Each of you wins:

A geek dream date!
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(T'Pol sold separately)


Next up is a tribute to the many ways men strive to impress the fairer - strike that - greener sex. Always bound for someplace in deep dark space!

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_______________________________________________

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Let's rock!
 
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Archer:"Bitch, whatchu say?!"

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Travis: "AAAAAAGGGHHHHH OH MY GOOOODDDD!!!! (pause) Ummmm Malcolm, do you have a spare towel?"
 
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"...and she turns MY genitals what color?!"


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MALCOLM:"Just let it go. Relax your throat.

I get one of Trip's hairballs every once in a while too. Randy bastard will cornhole anything when he's drunk and sleepy."
 
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"If SHE'S green...then what the hell do you call that creepy hue on my testicles?!"

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Travis's new weight-loss and toning theory?

Shove food up your ass...poop out your mouth.
 
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"That's NOT body paint?

UH-OH.



Anyone still wanna be in my will?"

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Yet another senseless, tragic incident of testicular implosion brought on by trying to look the Least Gay.
 
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"I hate these 3-d eye puzzles...especially just after sex."

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Travis couldn't help himself.

A man goes that long without tail?

He'll try to impress anything on two legs.
 
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Archer: "Get your own, Hoshi!"

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Reed tried not to laugh after the dumbbell he greased up slipped out of Travis' hand and onto his foot.
 
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"What YOU lookin' at, Crewman?

Never seen a Starfleet captain copping a feel off a green woman in a Jabba the Hutt slave bikini?"

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WARPIN' TO THE OLDIES Volume 12
 
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What does it mean, 'Winehouse on crack'?

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Triiiiiip! stooooop f..in aaaaartificiallll graaaaaviteeee!
 
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Vioce over: "Captain Archer gets up close and personal with She Hulk, on the next ENTERPRISE."

Atavachron
 
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Archer: "You know, your dad looks a little like Kermit the Frog. Only bigger. And more pissed off. And carrying a twelve gauge."
 
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"You're just jealous because for once in Starfleet history the captain gets some skanky, weird tail!"

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The final nanosecond before Travis threw out his sphincter and ruined the deckplates was one of the most infamous moments in the entire history of the first starship named Enterprise.
 
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"WHOA, lady.

Do you ever take a Q-tip and alcohol swab to those ears of yours?! Looks like you've got a caramel corn factory working overtime in there."
 
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