Best and worst pickup lines

[TheSeeker]

A friend of mine just posted the top twenty bad pickup lines she was subjected to while living in Baghdad for a year and it gave me a good chuckle. Here are a few I found very amusing:

Me: So what type of music do you listen to?
Major in Ramadi: The sounds of moaning women from Illinois.


"Are you interested doing anything tonight that would be considered
sexual harassment under the military's definition?"


"I would love to see you again without this glass between us."

So what are some of the best and worst pickup lines you've heard?

 

[Peach Wookiee]

Worst. Pick-up line. Ever... "I hate sand..."

 

[Danoz]

"Hey, baby. I've got all the ingredients for love and I think we should make it."

Oh, yeah. I just made that up. I rule.

 

[judge alba]

something i over heard a bloke say to a woman just the other night

congratulations i've decided you may be with me tonight

one my mate uses all the time

those clothes look ok on you but great on my bedroom floor

 

[SmoothieX]

Worst. Pick-up line. Ever... "I hate sand..."

LOLZORZ!!1!

 

[auntiehill]

The worst pick-up line I ever heard was when some dope licked a 50 dollar bill, stuck it to his forehead, and asked the girl, "How do you like me now?"

 

[captcalhoun]

^ HUH?!?!?!

Fat Penguin. Well, I had to say something to break the ice.

 

[jamestyler]

I overheard a friend asking a girl "If I add you to Bebo, will you add me back?" In my day is was all about exchanging phone numbers and casual sex. Adding someone to Bebo for sex seems like a step backwards.

There was a guy years ago who interrupted me and a close friend chatting up some girls by blurting out "I can suck my own dick." He then proceeded to show us. a) How did he find out he could do that? b) why would he do that? 3)... no, wait... c) the girls left the nightclub and we never saw them again.

It was worthy of the all too common 'epic fail' tag. Though if I'd caught that on video, I'd make a fortune. Or have a video deleted from YouTube...

The best was simply "C'mere" and that was all that needed said. Beautiful.

 

[Starbreaker]

"My friends wants to know if you think I'm cute"

 

[Peach Wookiee]

"Want to be my ball handler?"

 

[TheGodBen]

"I think you and I should take a little trip to see Big Ben."

Unfortunately it only works when I wear a name tag.

Actually, it never works.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

"Me mams art all neet, wanna av some rumpy pumpy sex back at arz?"

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

There was a guy years ago who interrupted me and a close friend chatting up some girls by blurting out "I can suck my own dick." He then proceeded to show us. a) How did he find out he could do that? b) why would he do that? 3)... no, wait... c) the girls left the nightclub and we never saw them again.

That man later became Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

 

[Lookingglassman]

The best I ever heard was, "One day I may not be here anymore and what I will regret is I never had the chance to taste you."

 

[TheBrew]

"Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you got FINE written all over you."

 

[Candlelight]

Lick your finger, wipe the finger on yours and theirs clothing, then say "Wanna come back to my place so we can get out of these wet clothes?"

Otherwise just try "fancy a fuck?" Depending on who you say it to it can actually work...

 

[Jono]

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.

 

[Dingo]

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.

Hilarious.

So TheSeeker what was your friend's job in Baghdad? As a US Serviceman in the sandbox I've heard guys say some dumb things to women in or out of uniform. I roll my eyes at it, personally.

 

[Venardhi]

"Does this taste like Rohypnol to you?"

 

[TorontoTrekker]

Otherwise just try "fancy a fuck?" Depending on who you say it to it can actually work...

I was the recipient of a similar pick-up line a few years ago. Some guy came up to me at the bar I used to frequent and said to me, "I want to suck your c***."

I leave it as an exercise for the reader to determine whether or not his attempt worked.