Add, remove, replace a letter game

[retroenzo]

Take the name of an episode of Star Trek, and either add, remove or replace a letter from the title.

What is the new episode title about? Make it as serious or as silly as you like.

eg.

The Battle -> The Bottle
The Enterprise meets with a Ferengi vessel whose captain, DaiMon Bok, requests a meeting with Captain Picard. On arriving, Bok gives Picard a bottle of liquid that causes him to experience serious headaches. It turns out it's just beer and Picard keeps getting hangovers.

 

[Kor]

"Space Peed."

All of the urinals and toilets on the Enterprise get plugged up, causing an unholy mess. Khan is disgusted and decides not to take over the ship after all.

Kor

 

[retroenzo]

"All Ood Things"

Picard starts travelling through time and finds out that he's being controlled by a strange man in a blue box as he's in pursuit of a member of the slave race called the Ood.

 

[Tosk]

"The Enema Within."

You don't even want to know, trust me.

 

[auntiehill]

^
"The Hoss." Beverly falls in love with an emissary from an enigmatic race of aliens. They are all large, hulking beings who, while not being all that smart, are very gentle and caring. For some strange reason, they all wear ridiculously large white hats.

 

[Green Shirt]

The Loomsday Machine. Enterprise encounters the Constellation, which was completely covered by a giant wool blanket by what a near crazed Commodore Decker described as "a giant spinning wheel in space."

 

[The Old Mixer]

"Space Peed."

"The Enema Within."

You guys had me at the title.

If I could have two letters, "The Dolphin"...finally, an episode focusing on the Enterprise-D's chief navigator.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Spock's Bran

Spock contracts an alien virus whose chief symptom is severe constipation.

Our Man Basher

Dax discovers she had another serial killer host, a woman who hated men and would kill them by bashing them over the head with a giant mallet.

Edit: Just realized now that 'Constipation' got somehow autocorrected to 'Concentration'.

 

[Jay Dee]

"The Man Crap"

The Enterprise crew goes to the planet M-113 to conduct their annual toilet servicing, but they are too late. An unknown species is masquerading as a woman from Doctor McCoy's past and attacking anyone from the waste disposal system.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

"Diet"

Kira confront her feelings about a Cardassian personal trainer.

Empok Nori

The Klingon restauranteur mysteriously dies in a shuttle accident after Garak opens a competing Cardassian restaurant.

Far Beyond the Stairs

Benny learns new lessons about discrimination after his run-in with the police make him blind and paraplegic.

The Prodigal Draughter

Ezri disappoints her family once again when she refuses to compete for the Federation checkers championship for which she has been groomed all her life.

 

[Green Shirt]

"Patterns of Farce" — Enterprise encounters a Monty Python-like travelling troupe on a starbase.

"The Clod Minders" — Enterprise encounters a society split into two factions, the elitist clumsy dim wits and the slave miners who serve them.

 

[Seven of Five]

Devil in the Park - to forge a better understanding between each other, Spock and the Horta go the park and find some swings to push each other on.

Sub Risa - Dr. Crusher thinks she's about to be in one of the worst episodes to TNG ever, only to realise she was sleeping and wakes up on Risa, and the disaster is averted.

 

[Tosk]

"The Naked Nob" - The Enterprise crew have to conduct diplomatic relations with an aristocrat from Plesium IX. Comedy ensues when they find out that Plesiums do not wear any form of clothing.

"Journey to Bagel" - Spock enters the Vulcan period of Pann Frye, a burning hunger that cannot be quenched by anything other than bagels. ...Or lethal combat.

"A Private Little Wart" - Doctors make the worst patients, and MCoy most of all when a sentient, ranting wart grows out of his forehead. Does the crew have the right to end a unique lifeform just because it's annoying?

 

[Random_Spock]

"Eye of the Beeholder" -- The members of the Enterprise land on a mysterious planet full of bees and it's up to Troi to find out what they want.

 

[Tim Thomason]

The Cake
It's Captain Pike's birthday and he's in for a surprise. Which lucky lady will come popping out of the cake this year? His first officer, his new yeoman, or some slave that was bought because he's apparently a horrible, horrible person?

REM
Captain Kirk and the Enterprise crew run across an ancient Earth band lost in the center of the galaxy. How did they get there? What do their nonsensical ramblings over the end of the world foretell?

Broken Bowl
Captain Archer is put in charge of delivering the ancient million-year old urn of the Kreetassan Emperor. Shenanigans ensue.

Diss-covery
The new crew get in a rap battle.

 

[Tosk]

"Mime Squared" - Two visitors come aboard from a planet where no one ever speaks out loud, preferring to converse only with body language.

"Weak Performance" - Wesley tries to put on a concert, to disastrous results.

"Ensign Ron" - TNG reboots the Kurt Russell character, showing us his first steps up the chain of command towards Captain.

 

[Vandervecken]

In the Kale Moonlight

Quark orders several tons of Gagh for all the Klingons now on R and R at the station during the war. Unfortunately, he's been shipped several tons of kale instead, and is forced to sell protein shakes at the bar to move the stuff. After drinking some shakes, Morn trips, Odo dissolves, Kira has sex, and Avery Brooks develops an underactive thyroid, which causes his voice to actually move beyond a monotone and lines him up for an Emmy.

Worf declares the shake "a warrior's drink," because choking it down certainly is an act of bravery, and peer pressure causes all the other Klingons to buy the shakes in droves (Worf goes on to a media career as "the Most Interesting Klingon in the Galaxy"). Quark gets rich, buys a seat on the Federation Council, and now Patrick Stewart faces the acting quandary of debating the first 10 Rules of Acquisition as some of the Federation's "most solemn laws and deeply held convictions" with a straight face.

 

[Green Shirt]

"I, Fudd", Enterprise is captured by a lunatic who is babbling on about needing help in finding a wascally wabbitt. All seems lost for Kirk and crew until Chekov realizes he alone can understand what the man is saying. He saves the day by confusing the man with talk of new-clee-err wessels and other in-wentions.

 

[Mr Soak]

Fist Contact

Picard goes mano-a-mano with the Borg, starting with the lowly drones, moving on up to a final showdown with the Queen. (movie)

OR

An undercover Riker has entered a combat contest on a pre-warp planet. Picard busts his chops. (episode)

 

[The Old Mixer]

"I, Fudd", Enterprise is captured by a lunatic who is babbling on about needing help in finding a wascally wabbitt. All seems lost for Kirk and crew until Chekov realizes he alone can understand what the man is saying. He saves the day by confusing the man with talk of new-clee-err wessels and other in-wentions.

Inhaler!

"The Prick"--Counselor Troi gets an obnoxious love interest of the week...same plot as before.