Spock: If she draws a red card, she fizzbins. Unless the card matches one of our birthdays or an atomic mass.
Kelinda: And that's when I take off my top?
Spock: Indeed.
TOS Caption Contest #147: Woman Troubles
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Spock: If she draws a red card, she fizzbins. Unless the card matches one of our birthdays or an atomic mass.
Kelinda: And that's when I take off my top?
Spock: Indeed.
Spock: "Am I going to have to 'Smack a bitch'?"
Uhura: <grumbling> "Ima smack a green-blooded Honkey."
Spock: Really, Dr. McCoy. It is illogical to assume that the carpets match the drapes of this Kelvin.
Kelinda: What are carpets? What are drapes?
Spock: It's your choice, Doctor. Either man the camera or else you get sloppy seconds."
Kirk: "Sorry, Bones. You lost the draw fair and square."
Kirk: "I'm your huckleberry."
Gorn: "..."
Kirk: "Why Johnny Ringorn, you look like somebody just walked over your grave"
Spock: "No, Lieutenant, we are not 'there yet'. I told you I would let you know. Now, please stop asking!"
Gorn: You ssssaid there would be girlsssss.
Kirk: And you said you were a Kappa Alpha named Brad.
Spock: Putting the self-destruct button next to the intercom button is not logical.
Uhura: Third damn time today.
SPOCK: "Please take those Communion wafers away Doctor McCoy, I find them very offensive. You know that I am a Vulcan of the Hebrew faith..."
SPOCK: "I assure you Lieutenant, my comment of "Once you go black, you cannot come back" was not meant as a derogatory statement."
KIRK thinking: "Just ignore her for now; c'mon McCoy, stop gabbing with Spock and 'gimme my new Cialis 'script..."
Spock: "Found your vibrator."
McCoy: "Me? You do realize she has tentacles, don't you? I'm a doctor, not an anime fan!"
Kirk (thinking): Yeah, she was great, but just because I shagged her once doesn't mean she has to start making plans to meet the parents.
C-3PO (off camera): "OVER HERE! HELP, PLEASE HEEEEEEEEEEELP!"
Kirk: "You want to dismember him or should I?"
Gorn: "Letsss take turnsss."
Kirk: "Hey Gorn. Gorn. Hey Gorn. Gorn. GORRRN!"
Gorn: "WHAT?!"
Kirk: "Hi!"
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Sulu: "Hel-loooooo!"
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Helen: "Poo-poo undies!!??"
Deleted scene from the First Draft Script:
Gorn: "We have heard talesss... of your Misssss Uhura. In exxxchange for her, I'll pretend you knocked me out, you hesssitate to kill me, and thessse Metronsss will let ussss both go."
Kirk: "Done and done. Let me gather some shit to fake a mortar ..."
Kirk: "Your Tramp Stamp says 'Certified by Spock' ..."
Noel: "He says my buttcheeks are logical."
Gorn: "We have heard talesss... of your Misssss Uhura. In exxxchange for her, I'll pretend you knocked me out, you hesssitate to kill me, and thessse Metronsss will let ussss both go."
Kirk: "Done and done. Let me gather some shit to fake a mortar ..."
Kirk: "Your Tramp Stamp says 'Certified by Spock' ..."
Noel: "He says my buttcheeks are logical."
Shatner: Hey buddy do you mind? We're trying to shoot a scene here. Frikkin LA.