Another slow week, but we got some fire at the end. First, let's take care of the winners: And the Photoshop winners: Congratulations everyone. This week, we learn that people can show up at the weirdest times.
Thanks much for the win! I couldn't have done it without all the TV watching. Dorn, thinking: "Between this and that CHIPs reunion movie, I'll be able to get a new motor for my hot tub." Picard, to himself: "Don't keep me waiting, you dirty bitch ... <sees she's already there> Oh, hello Admiral Janeway! Pleased to see you ..."
Colonel Worf (thinking): Why'd I agree to defend Roger Clemens? No, no, stop yelling at the congressman, stop yelling at the congressman! Baird: "Action!" Stewart: "Admiral Hepburn...ah crap." Baird: "Cut!" Mulgrew: "Don't feel bad. Beltran and McNeil kept calling me that for seven years."
Dorn: God I hate all this make-up. Next Generation was one thing, but now this movie, what was I thinking? No more Star Trek for me that's for sure. Hey is that Ira Behr waving me over? I wonder what he wants?
COLONEL WORF:"Yes. I know I look fabulous in this get-up. What's your point, patahk??" JANEWAY:"By the way, Jean-Luc, did you read my Voyager log entry about the Irish holodeck village coming to life? Gay as all get-out, wasn't it?"
Janeway: Ah, Jean Luc. Now, about the requisitons on Bolarus XII... Janeway: ...severe ligituous difficulties with the Aldebarans... Janeway: ...increased imports of Orion opium... Janeway: ...civil strife on Cygnia... Janeway: ...murders of Klingon ballerinas... Janeway: Jean Luc? Picard: (sighs) I wish the fabric of spacetime really was being torn asunder by transdimensional fedoras. (pause) Janeway: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
ANNOUNCER:"Today...on...THE PATAHK'S COURT!" "Admit it, Captain. You've always wanted to jump and roger me nice and good."
"Did I leave the iron on?" "OK, one astro combo, no upsize. Please warp to the next window for pick up"
"...what would Kahless do?" "Fine, Jean-Luc. Whatever. You can borrow my backup wigs, just as long as I get them back in one piece...and without any mysterious stains."
You haven't hear the Gettysburg Address until you've heard it in the original Klingon. Crap, there's an All Janeway Channel.
"For my next number, I'd like to do a heartwarming classic from the opera about Kahless eating Molor's still-beating heart in front of him..." PICARD:"Damn. Classic rerun station's got another Mrs. Columbo marathon."
"I wonder what letter this court is brought to us by...?" Picard began to think that Starfleet security briefings were becoming way too dumbed down.
Worf: "Dr. Crusher has dishonored me with this surgical procedure!" Picard (off-camera): "But quite necessary, Mr. Worf, if you are to infiltrate the Gorn muppets." Picard: "Report, Mr. Worf." Worf: "A moment, Captain. I am learning about the letter O in Gorn."
"In Klingon courtroom, gavel bangs YOU!" "Good news, Jean-Luc. One of my former Voyager crewmates is signing aboard the Enterprise. Take it easy on him. He loves the clarinet...and is a total pussy."