I know this type of thread pops up from time to time, but I heard a song this past weekend that had such a horrible line in it, I had to post it. The song was Who Says You Can't Go Home, which was a duet with Jon Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles and the line is: I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold The rest of the song wasn't so bad I guess, but holy crap that is one of the worst lines in a song I have ever heard. I suppose it could be that nothing else fit there, and while I couldn't write a song to save my life, I would just shelve the song for a while until something better came up. If you're Bon Jovi do you want to equate your success to 'hijacking a rainbow?' What other bad lyrics are out there?
Some lines are better as I hear them than when I actually find out what they are. I can't think of any examples, making this post worthless...hmmm.
I think I post this every time this topic pops up, but (much as I love the song) this line in Gordon Lightfoot's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" always stands out: "As the big freighters go she was bigger than most" It's like he was trying to think of a good analogy and then just gave up and left it as it was.
Yeah, usually I let bad lyrics slide but it is really noticeable to me in Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne songs. "I've never felt this way before Everything that I do reminds me of you And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do" Not bad in a ridiculous way, but bad in a, you really couldn't think of anything better than that?? sort of way.
Sometimes I get in a mood for country music (I know, I know) and boy are there some real stinkers in there sometimes. I know this is meant to be cute but, well.... Watching You by Rodney Atkins (this has 5(!) credited songwriters) Drivin’ through town just my boy and me With a Happy Meal in his booster seat Knowin’ that he couldn’t have the toy ‘til his nuggets were gone. A green traffic light turned straight to red I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath. His fries went a flyin’, and his orange drink covered his lap Well, then my four year old said a four letter word It started with “S” and I was concerned So I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to talk like that?” ... We got back home and I went to the barn I bowed my head and I prayed real hard Said, "Lord, please help me help my stupid self" Just this side of bedtime later that night Turnin' on my son's Scooby-doo night light He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees ... And a message of sprituality from Josh Turner. Remember he rules the world with his staff and a rod but they're like two peas in a pod. Me and God by Josh Turner There ain't nothing that can't be done By me and God Ain't nobody come in between me and God One day we'll live together Where the angels trod Me and God Early in the morning talking it over Me and God Late at night talking it over Me and God You could say we're like two peas in a pod Me and God He's my Father He's my friend The beginning And the end He rules the world With a staff and rod We're a team Me and God I am weak and he is strong Me and God He forgives me when I'm wrong Me and God He's the one I lean on When life gets hard Me and God
Thin Lizzy, Jailbreak: "Tonight theres gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town...." Gee, I wonder where the jailbreak is going to be? The jail perhaps? Oasis (take your pick I guess), Supersonic: "I know a girl called Elsa She's into Alka Seltzer She sniffs it through a cane on a supersonic train" I mean really, guys, how fucking drunk on hard liquor were you when you wrote that shit?
David Coverdale is a crap lyricist. First there were his solo albums, with the title song of one 'Whitesnake', and yes, it's all about his white snake and what a toolmeister he is. That trend continued with a large number of Whitesnake songs which were about, yes, his white snake. Much later, after his marriage broke up, he wrote what I consider to be a good set of songs for the album 'Restless Heart' which, for once, didn't involve his white snake. What is a damn shame is that the music was often damn good rock. I'll think of more, I'm sure.
Bad lyrics abound. Maybe we should have a thread about superb lyrics-nah, it would be a struggle to flesh out.
Nick Cave is my favorite musician and I've loved almost everything he's ever created, but the Nocturama album was pretty awful, and one song in particular, "Rock of Gibraltar," is rather odious:
"We Are the World" - it presented a noble goal to raise funds for the less fortunate. While the song itself is eminently forgettable, its lyrics are the worst part. Mangled scripture, banal analogies, ....... etc
I know the song. If it weren't for that last line, the verse would just be mediocre, but "I love the things that you do?" Good lord, that's retarded.
Oh geez, everyone in the library is staring at me again... "Captain Jack" by Billy Joel is pretty bad, made even worse by the fact that it's all sung in the 2nd person, so the drug-addled chronic masturbating protagonist of the song is YOU! Saturday night and you're still hangin' around You're tired of livin' in your one horse town You'd like to find a little hole in the ground For a while... So you go to the village in your tie-dye jeans And you stare at the junkies and the closet queens It's like some pornographic magazine And you smile... But Captain Jack will get you high at night And take you to your special island Captain Jack will get you by tonight Just a little push 'n' you'll be smilin' La da da, Oh yeah, yeah Your sister's gone out, she's on a date And you just sit at home and masturbate Your phone is gonna ring soon, but you just can't wait For that call... So you stand on the corner in your new English clothes And you look so polished from your hair down to your toes But still your fingers gonna pick your nose After all... But Captain Jack will get you high at night And take you to your special island Captain Jack will get you by tonight Just a little push 'n' you'll be smilin' La da da, Oh yeah, yeah So you decide to take a holiday You got your tape deck and your brand new Chevrolet Ah but there's no place to go anyway And what for... You've got everything but nothing's cool, They've just found your father in the swimming pool And you guess you won't be going back to school Anymore... But Captain Jack can get you high at night And take you to your special island Captain Jack will get you by tonight Just a little push 'n' you'll be smilin' La da da, Oh yeah, yeah So you play your albums and you smoke your pot And you meet your girlfriend in the parking lot Oh, but still you're aching for the things you haven't got What went wrong... And if you can't understand why your world is so dead And why you've got to keep in style and feed your head Well, you're twenty-one and still your mother makes your bed and that's too long...
They play Avril Lavigne at my gym all the time and yeah, you can guess her next rhyme before she sings it. Always rhyming with the word "you". Don't forget Nickleback with all their fire and pain and pulling people out of fire and pain etc. etc.
Smashing Pumpkins, Disarm. The chorus starts off okay with Used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes... And then quickly gets stupid. What I choose is my choice, what's a boy supposed to do? Yes, Billy Corgan, the act of choosing means you have made a choice. You have correctly understood the English language. Hurray for you.
Well, Corgan is a Rush fan, and this line sounds like a shallow play of the line Rush's Freewill: "If you choose not too decide, you still have made a choice." But I think the line is shallow and redundant. Oddly enough, Corgan was quite eloquent in his commentary on the Rush, Beyond the Lighted Stage documentary film
Not to mention that undoubtedly someone's "superb" lyrics would be on someone else's bad lyrics list.