I'm not sure where I read/heard it, but with all the hype around Episode VII, I found something someone had given voice to about how Episode I should have started, presenting a far more menacing phantom for the Jedi to deal with, having a shadowy Maul attacking a training camp. Since I'm currently started working on an original sci-fi project, I thought it might be an idea to try out writing for another universe, to see about getting my head around it. So I present to you my, much darker, take on how Episode I should have started. This won't be going any further, so I leave it to you to dream up how the film would've progressed. * * * * * Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace It is an uncertain time for the galaxy. The Republic Senate is embroiled in a political dispute that threatens to see member worlds split after the collapse of key trade negotiations as well as the disappearance of multiple supply convoys. Meanwhile, the Jedi Order faces problems of their own, with a darkness obscuring the Force and rumours of a powerful warrior operating on the Outer Rim. They must divide their resources between trying to gather information on this new threat, and acting as peacekeepers in the disputed regions to ensure the longevity of the Galactic Republic. But as things look bleak from Coruscant, at a Secret Jedi Enclave on Dantooine they are about to get far worse for the Younglings training there and their Jedi Masters… From where she stood, Jedi Knight Ardana Jast looked onto the small courtyard where the Younglings all sat, legs crossed, eyes closed. The twelve before her were some of the most promising trainees, their connection to the Force was strong and she could feel it radiating from each of them as they reached out to move the objects before them. She knew they could all move the small boxes, made of the most delicately crafted glass, but this exercise was about control. They needed to move and stack them precisely in order to keep them from falling and shattering into little more than grains of sand. She felt the subtlest of shifts in the mood from the Younglings. One of them was becoming frustrated with the exercise. They hadn’t failed, the sound of the disintegrating glass was impossible not to hear, but the exercise was beginning to get to them. She cast her eyes over her charges, all of whom were facing her, their faces serene—all except one. Jast cast a look at Liin Rako, her Sullustan compatriot, and saw that he too sensed the shift in the boys’ mood, his ears twitched with the slight imbalance from their students and his eyes narrowed as he studied the boy. Leaving him on the walkway that surrounded the courtyard, she stepped down and started to walk around the group, offering them assurance and guidance in a soothing voice, hoping that it would help the one who needed it the most. But as she neared the corner where he sat she could feel his frustration grow, she could see the opaque glass boxes, no larger than her fist, begin to tremble as he let his annoyance get the better of him. When she reached the troubled boy she stopped and crouched down beside him, her lekku falling forward from her shoulders. Keeping her voice low and soft, she spoke so only he could hear her. “Calm your mind, Anakin,” she cooed. “This is about your inner peace and control. Let go of your frustrations and feel the Force flow through you.” The boys brow furrowed, his shoulders tensed. She remembered the words from the Master who had brought her to the Enclave, and hoped they would give him the same boost it had her. “Do or do not do, there is no try, Anakin. You will not fail to become a Jedi if you choose to start again with a clearer mind.” There was the unmistakable sound of glass cracking, which made his face darken and his muscles coil tighter. In little more than the blink of an eye, the six boxes he had been holding in the air shattered, their grain-like shards fell to the stone floor of the courtyard like dust. She reached put to set a reassuring hand on his shoulder, to tell him that he would have another chance after some further meditation, before the feeling shifted instantly from frustration to anger. Before she could react, Anakin Skywalker’s emotions overtook his control and he lashed out with the Force, sending out a burst of energy that shattered all the other boxes and knocked her back. He leapt to his feet and bolted out of the courtyard as the other Younglings opened their eyes to see their hard work reduced to little piles of sand before them. “I’ll get him,” Rako said, turning after the boy. “It’s alright, I will find him. You remain here and lead them on another guided meditation.” He nodded as she rose to her feet once more and hurried after the boy. Skywalker was easily the strongest child here, his connection to the Force was unlike any other she had seen in her years at the Temple, but he still had problems controlling his emotions. She had seen him lift a starfighter, but when it came to the more intricate nature of wielding the Force he always became annoyed and frustrated, which boiled over into anger. Lashing out, as he had just done, was not uncommon for him. She would need to recommend that he undergo more training to hone and control his feelings before permitting him to go much further, as someone with his power but no sense of restraint was a very dangerous combination. Jast knew he would not be in the Enclave, so she headed out. Dantooine was a planet of lush, fertile ground, so from the hidden entrance to the training facility it was easy to look for miles in almost every direction. Even in the twilight she saw nothing move in the wilting grass, so turned towards the last place left to look, the rocky outcrop that hid the Enclave. It gave the facility shelter and protection, something that had been necessary millennia ago when it was first built, though still to this day there was no one outside the Order who knew of its location. Feeling the chill of the oncoming winter, she started into the hard, barren ground, which was a blight on the flat grassy lands. * * * * * His Master had been right. There were Jedi on Dantooine, powerful ones too—if the disturbance in the Force he had felt was anything to go by—though now he knew that the information he had was accurate, he knew they were nothing but children. There would be a couple of Knights, maybe even a Master, to instruct them, but other than that they were defenceless as they would be too young for their own lightsabres. A smile split Maul’s tattooed face, a row of yellowed incisors standing out against the red and black of his skin. He narrowed his eyes as he watched a violet Twi’lek, in the robes of a Knight, stepped out from a crevice, look around for a moment, before turning towards the steep, jagged rock that hid their base and disappeared into them. She would be going after the boy he had seen leave. They would be safe, though only for a moment. His Master had ordered him to leave no survivors—not something he ever needed to be told. Silently he approached. He had taken the time to locate and disable all the sensors that would’ve alerted the Jedi to his presence, though he could’ve made it through without doing so, his task had to be completed precisely and leave no trace that he was ever there—other than the dead bodies littered across the floor. He’d also jammed their communications. He needed them to send a signal but keep it from getting out, until he was in position to leave, after all he wanted the Jedi to witness the carnage he had left for them. He reached the crevice, paused for a moment as he drew the double-bladed lightsabre from his belt, listening for any signs the Twi’lek was returning. Satisfied she and the child were far enough away, he slipped inside. Maul had memorised the schematics of the base, something his Master had provided him, so found the communications room within minutes. As he downloaded the data he needed, he studied the security display. There was a Jedi Sullustan and eleven Younglings in the central courtyard, deep in meditation, with only one lightsabre between them. His device beeped, signalling its task was complete. He retrieved it and headed for the courtyard. Circling around it, he wanted to come at the Younglings first, insight panic and fear among them, have their instructor tell them to get clear and call for help. It wouldn’t take him long to hunt them all down. Once in position he waited a moment longer, eyes fixed on his first target, a Rodian. Silently, he pounced. Activating a single blade, he sliced and howled as the first body dropped. The effect was instantaneous and glorious, the terrified screams driving him onwards. The Sullustan drew his weapon, a green-bladed sabre, and leapt to the defence of his charges, his large black eyes narrowed with barely restrained anger and anguish as their blades clashed. “Run!” he told the survivors. “Call for help!” * * * * * Jast found Skywalker sitting on the edge of a small pond, knees tucked up under his chin and arms wrapped around his legs. He was softly sobbing. Quietly she approached, her path illuminated by the rising moons. “Anakin, are you alright?” He shook his head but remained silent, wiping the tears from his cheeks. She sat down beside him. “What is wrong?” “This is pointless! I’m stronger than all of them but you still make me do useless exercises like that one!” “It isn’t useless, Anakin. Being a Jedi is about being strong with the Force, but rather being wise with it. We use the Force to help keep the peace within the Republic—” Suddenly everything went cold as she felt like she had taken a punch to the chest. Her eyes welled up as realisation flashed through her mind. She was able to glance at Skywalker and saw that he too had been hit by the dark disturbance. Fear gripped him just as it did herself, but she managed to keep hers from overtaking her being. Skywalker wasn’t as lucky, he get to his feet, his body a tightly coiled spring as he struggled between fight or flight. “What is it?” he asked, his voice shaking with terror. “Stay here,” she told him firmly, before bolting back towards the Enclave. As she drew nearer, she could feel the Dark Side grow stronger and stronger, as though a veil was being lifted from her eyes. Whoever it was had shrouded themselves from her, like a phantom, but now that she could feel them she wouldn’t let them get away. Reaching the secret entrance, she shed her robe and drew her own lightsabre. Stepping inside a place that should’ve been so familiar to her she found it unsettling and alien to her senses. It was tarnished with the Dark Side; a stain that she knew would never be cleaned away. The blue glow of her sabre illuminated the way, so as she rounded a corner she could clearly see the prone forms of the Younglings lying on the floor. Forlorn, she slumped next to the body of Daymar Praji, his eyes still open wide with panic. She closed them and hung her head, questioning who would do such a thing to children. Jast knew that Rako was dead as well, giving his life for those they had been sent to instruct. From the courtyard she heard a hollow cackle. Opening her eyes, she looked towards the sound. She would make the perpetrator pay for what they had done here. Unsteadily she got to her feet, took a moment to centre herself again and pressed forward, lightsabre held tightly. As she got nearer, the smell of burning meat and blood grew worse, so too did the sense of evil she was about to face. Ardana Jast made no effort to sneak or hide, she would confront her enemy face on. She stepped onto the walkway and immediately spotted her opponent; a tall, powerfully built Zabrak, whose red skin was covered in large black tattoos, his eyes an intense yellow that burned with hatred, and a savage smile exposed his gnarled sharp teeth. He held out a sabre and twin blade for crimson bathed the room in red. A Sith. She had suspected as much, given the darkness that enshrouded him, and the evil it would’ve taken to carry out suck a massacre. “Surrender Sith,” she demanded, assuming a combat posture, ready for him. His stained smile widened. “Die Jedi.” He launched at her, coming with everything he had. She blocked and parried, but his style was so vicious, so unbridled that she found herself falling back with every strike. As their blades collided and sparks flew, his eyes stared right into her own, boring into her, and at that moment she knew that she would not win this battle. She managed to knock him back and leapt clear of him and the walkway, standing in the centre of the courtyard, breathing heavy. He circled around, toying with her. She kept her guard up and muscles ready to respond. From behind, something creaked and groaned. She cast a glance back in time to see a metal wall panel heading straight for her. She swung around and sliced it in two, trying to pirouette back to face the Sith, but she was too slow. His distraction had been just long enough for him to vault towards her and swing his final blow. Jast felt the burn of the sabre go straight through her stomach and up into her chest. She didn’t even have time to scream before she collapsed to the cool stone floor, looking up at her murderer, as he glowered down at her, grinning. Her vision blurred, eyes watering once again, but even then she was sure she’d seen movement from the entryway. “NO!” Anakin’s cry of anger, sorrow and defiance filled the Enclave. Before the Sith could turn to face the boy, Anakin sent him flying across the courtyard and into the wall with incredible force. He ran to her and crouched next to her, looking at her fatal wounds. “Run…Anakin…” she managed to gasp. He didn’t, he picked up her lightsabre and stood his ground. The Sith, winded but not wounded sprang towards his young opponent. Jast, clinging on to what little life she had left, could only watch as the boy fought. His skills with the blade were well beyond what was to be expected of someone who’d only ever used training sabres, it was as though the lightsabre were an extension of his being, an appendage that had been missing up until now. The Sith had obviously not expected the Youngling to be much of a threat, was now coming at Anakin with the same ferocity as he had against her. In one swift move, Anakin parried a strike and Force pushed the Sith back a step, then swung upwards with his blade. The Zabrak howled and stumbled backwards as the lightsabre caught his face. With another mighty push, Anakin flung him out of the courtyard and look set to pursue, but she couldn’t allow that—she would ensure that her final act would be to keep him safe. Gathering what strength she could, she focused all her energy on the ceiling, feeling the weight of the metal and rock above it, knowing that it would be enough to keep him safe. As her world darkened she heard the thundering rumble of the avalanche she had caused, keeping the last survivor safe inside.
That was a good intro, honestly something this violent would not have been the intro for a film geared towards kids, would have loved to see this though.
Awesome! Loved it all, but particularly the way it echoes some elements from one of Lucas' early drafts for Star Wars. And I'd say it's no darker than the massacre at the Jedi Temple, the incineration of Owen and Beru, the destruction of Alderaan, murder of the civilians on Jakku, Luke's hand getting lopped off... [Ru'afo] need I go on? [/Ru'afo] MORE!!